T minus 2

Still at home in Nottingham; Mum in Gloucestershire. I’m awoken by the wrench of my gut and sprint to the Loo. With some concern I note that, as usual, my gut is firing up at around the time we will be coming into land at JHB. This is my biggest fear.

The house is quiet, my teenage boys will not stir for hours and C sleeps on.

I really must start actually packing. Actually putting things in the suitcase. There is a theory that I am avoiding packing, and that this links back to going to boarding school. I can see that this could be true. It could be.

Things I feel I must do today: Get a lens cloth, sort out my MP3 player with new podcasts (radio 4 comedy, From our own correspondent, Thinking Aloud), get a document folder and gather everything together - there will be comfort in that.


Must do that meditation /relaxation exercise. (I went to see a hypnotherapist to try and calm my gut) I must do the routine often.

. . . Try to feel positive excited, whereas actually I feel rather than like a man with his clothing caught in a piece of machinery, aware that the ON switch is about to be depressed.